Which Comes First... Repentance or Forgiveness?

I've heard Christians say (or imply) that until we repent, God wants nothing to do with us. Is that true? Some verses in the Bible seem to back it up. John the Baptist said "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near." Matthew 3:2

and "I am the voice of one calling in the desert, 'Make straight the way for the Lord.'" John 1:23.

I think "Repent!" is a favorite word of many Christians. It keeps them comfortably on the "right" side of the sinner/Christian divide. Yes, it was a favorite of Jesus too. Jesus told sinners to repent. His disciples told sinners to repent. But repentance doesn't always cause the life-zapping change we we seem to expect. Repentance is admission of sin and willingness to change; no more. For most people, actual change takes time.

When Jesus talked to the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4:1-8, He told her He didn't condemn her before she had done a thing! She may have already repented in her heart (the bible doesn't say) but she hadn't even had a chance to talk to her latest "husband," and Jesus had already forgiven her!

Verse 10: Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

And why not? After all, don't some of us need God's help to repent? Yeah, I've heard marvelous stories of people who quit smoking and drinking on the day they prayed the "sinner's prayer," (and more power to them!) but that wasn't me. I didn't want to stop sinning; I just wanted God to love me! My conversion has taken years, has gone over many bumps and backtracked a few times, and is, in fact, still going on.

I have repented, I am repenting, and I have a lot of sin left to repent for. This isn't an excuse to sin. Looking back, I am a very different person from the selfish, immature, angst-imprisoned girl who asked for God's help several decades ago. (I wouldn't even want to do do some of the things I did back then!)

So... which came first? My belief is, forgiveness:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Peace, Love, Forgiveness